Expectations Ruined It!

A Loving Correction From The Lord On My Birthday!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

49 years old.

Sure does look and feel different than I expected. 😭

As I sit here in bed, today on my birthday.

The Lord is showing me just how often I put expectations on situations and people. 😭

I didn’t want to take the day off from work, on my birthday!

I wanted to be celebrated.

I wanted to be loved on by others.

I wanted to be recognized.

I wanted to be appreciated.

I wanted to receive praise.

Yet....

I DIDN’T want to be celebrated.

I DIDN’T want to be loved on by others.

I DIDN’T want to be recognized.

I DIDN’T want to be appreciated.

I DIDN’T want to receive praise.

So, I requested the day off.

Not fully understanding WHY.

Thinking that it was because I didn’t want to be celebrated.

Out of “obligation” from my colleagues.

I wanted to be genuinely celebrated.

Not transactionally celebrated. 🤯

I thought my choice to ask for the day off.

Was because of the massive tension that was existing between myself and manager.

After the Lord pressed upon me to go directly to the owner of the clinic that I work at. 🥺

And speak truth about a process that is no longer working.

The emotional tension that ensued.

Between the manager and myself.

Was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 🥺

She was upset with me. 🥺

And I was simply trying to survive the emotional wrath that I could sense radiating off of her. 🥺

It felt downright AWFUL to me.😭

I didn’t want to be around it for any longer than I had to. 🥺

But little did I know.

The reason the Lord led me to take the day off.

Had nothing to do with the uncomfortable tension, between her and I.

It had EVERYTHING to do with expectations. 🥺🤯

He showed me just how much expectation I put on situations and those around me.

Thinking that it needs to look a certain way.

And.

If it doesn’t.

That means.

I’m wrong.

I’m not loved.

I need to change.

I need to keep quiet.

Etc......

But he reminded me.

That my expectations are coming from my scared inner child.

Who’s wanting to be loved and accepted by EVERYONE!

But ONLY in the ways that FEEL comfortable and make sense to me! 🥺

And yet.

He was quick to correct me. 😬

But that isn’t faith.

But that isn’t trust.

But that isn’t surrender.

That’s control!

And

You can’t control the outcome of situations.

Nor can you.

Control how other’s receive you.

Nor can you.

Control how truth is received.

Your responsibility is to simply.

Obey what I put on your heart to speak.

The rest.

Is up to me. ✝️

But.......Lord what about.....

Shhhhhhhhh child. ✝️

Your loveability has ZERO to do with what others do or don’t do.

Your loveability comes solely from ME ✝️

PERIOD!

It’s time that you stop believing the enemy’s lies.

It’s time that you stop outsourcing your identity to anybody/anything else, other than me.✝️

It’s time you stop seeking outside validation for your worth.

That can ONLY come from ME. ✝️

YOU ARE LOVED.

YOU ARE VALUED.

YOU ARE APPRECIATED.

YOU ARE CELEBRATED.

YOU ARE WANTED.

YOU ARE NEEDED.

YOU ARE SEEN!

BY ME! ✝️

Come sit, at my feet. ✝️

Lay all of your burdens down. ✝️

And

Let me show you.

What it feels like to experience the love of the ONE who created you!!!! ✝️

Let me show you.

YOU ARE ALWAYS WORTHY IN MY EYES.✝️

In loving correction,

Your heavenly Father. ✝️